


Music Radio

by belovedhell



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Disorder, Hurt Jared Padalecki, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Problems, Some Doctors Are Assholes, Supportive Jensen, seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-11-01 18:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10927113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belovedhell/pseuds/belovedhell
Summary: Jared felt like he was all alone with his music problem. Luckily, Jensen was there to prove him wrong.





	Music Radio

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is actually based on what I'm going through, even put details on some experiences. I have a music problem, also known as Musical hallucinations, and I freaking can't stand it. Me and my aunt had a real argument and I had a breakdown with her because I felt alone and nobody understood what I was going through. But she said she would try things to help me. Made me happy. Also, I went to a doctor and he made me sound insane, so I didn't go back! However, I did find someone (recently) that is currently helping me. Hopefully it works out and I finally get better. Also, joking around about bashing your head against the wall was taken seriously. Why can't no one take jokes anymore? Sorry for rambling. 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are lovely and appreciated.

Jared slammed the door shut once he and Jensen were already inside their shared apartment. Jensen frowned as he watched Jared flopped down the couch and turned on the T.V.

"Jared?" He let out a tired sigh. Jensen knew he was walking into one hell of an argument, but he had to say it. "We need to go back. Think about what the doctor said—"

Snapping his head to his lover, Jared turned off the T.V. and exclaimed, "Think about what he said! No, Jensen. I'm not going back there. The doctor is a fucking idiot! I'm not _crazy_. I'm not." Jared repeated it more to himself than to Jensen.

"Baby, I know you're not," Jensen reassured, and then sat beside him. "You're just getting help for your music problem. Don't listen to the rest that he said—"

Jared interrupted, "Oh. That I'm depressed and probably suicidal— at least he said it nicer _. You might be_ _dangerous to yourself_. Asshole— Jensen, he wanted someone to keep an eye on me. What the fuck? I'm a grown ass man. What the hell does he think I'll do?" Jared was fuming.

Jensen pressed his lips together, then carefully said, "You do say some things that worry me, Jared."

Jared gasped, caught off guard by his boyfriend's words. He crawled to the edge of the couch feeling betrayed. "Like what?" Yeah. He had said inconsiderate things before, but he never meant any of it.

Jensen narrowed his eyes at him, like he couldn't believe Jared just told him that. "Things like ' _I feel like I'm going to bash my head against the wall_ ' or ' _one of these days I'm going to blow my brains out'._ You honestly think that doesn't terrify me?" Jensen asked, his voice slightly shaking.

He ran a hand down his face. "Jensen, I'm kidding! I don't mean any of that shit. You really think I would do something like that?" he countered. "You know me."

Jensen's silence was enough of an answer. And honestly? Jared felt like he was stabbed in the heart. His eyes welled with unshed tears. He scoffed and craned his head to the side to ignore Jensen. It was bad enough that his family thought he was insane... but for Jensen to believe it? Wow.

"Thanks for your faith, _babe_ ," he said bitterly, face flushing.

"Jared... I want you to get help. Whatever you have... it's not normal."

"Of course it's not _normal_ ," Jared hissed as he rose from his seat to pace around the living room. "Do you have any idea what it's like? It fucking sucks. I hear music nonstop _every day_. Every single day. I can't sleep because the music keeps me up all night, _and_ when I do sleep it's still there when I wake up. Blaring nonstop! I can't— I can be here talking to you and the music is playing in the background."

"What song is playing right now?" Jensen asked, concern lingering in his tone. Jared often heard random songs. Some that he liked, some that he hated with passion, and some that he had never heard in his life. However, when he was feeling a strong emotion it usually connected with a certain song.

Jared licked his lips, hesitating to answer before saying, "A very negative song. I'd rather not say." Jensen grimaced, not liking the answer.

Sighing, Jared dropped back to his spot and groaned. "I hate it, Jensen. I just want it to stop. I have had this problem for almost a year— Jesus Christ. A year," he said in disbelief.

"I know. I remember I didn't believe you at first because every now and then an ear-worm could happen. But no. What you have is insane and definitely need help," Jensen stated. "You've been getting headaches, right?"

"Yeah," he admitted, "I have."

"Do you think it has to do with your anxiety?"

"Maybe. Who knows?" Jared shrugged. "The doctor thinks I should be on depression pills." He snorted, "He didn't even care about my music problem. Probably thinks I was making it up. Asshole. Doctors rather give any medication than to deal with people that actually need help. Exhibit A: me." Jared pointed to himself.

Jensen rolled his eyes. "Okay, now you're being a little dramatic."

"It's true! C'mon, at least admit he was a little out of line," Jared pleaded. "Tell me that I'm not alone." He dropped his head onto Jensen's lap and curled into a little ball. Jared felt defeated. All the fight and anger that built inside of him suddenly drifted away, leaving him scared and alone.

A tear managed to escape his eyelid. Jared wanted to so badly cry and runaway from everything. But he couldn't. He needed serious help. A warm hand patted his head, gently, then Jensen said, "I'm on your side, baby. You're not alone. I'm with you every step of the way. We'll figure this out. We can go to another doctor. One that isn't an asshole."

Jared tilted his head upwards to look into Jensen's eyes. "Really?" his voice was soft and childlike.

"Yeah. Of course. We need to find someone that you're comfortable with." Jensen leaned down to kiss his forehead and gave Jared a reassuring smile. "I just want you to get better."

Jared stared at him for a moment before chuckling, causing Jensen to quirk his eyebrows. "What?"

"The song _'we can work it_ ' by the Beatles is playing in my head. Kinda ironic given the situation but it gives me hope, you know?" Jared smiled. The sight made Jensen hug him because his boyfriend was so strong whether he knew it or not. Jensen had faith in him. There was no doubt about that.

"I love you, Jared. Screw everybody else. They might think you're nuts and incapable of taking care of yourself. But I know that's not true. You can do it. And if no doctors can help you... I'll do my own research! Yeah. I can read ways to, uh, reduce your mind's activities— or distract your mind, or something. Even get you those gadgets for anxiety— We'll get through this together," Jensen repeated the last thing.

Jared cried this time. Not because of sadness, but because he had support from the only person that mattered to him. Jensen. And that was more than enough.


End file.
